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I think, when I look back now and occasionally find myself tumbling through his Facebook page, that he wasn’t. I never learned whether the boy I lost my virginity to was struggling with his sexuality. I’m not sure whether I really fell for the guy or not, but I do know that at the end of it he was just using me to get off. And while at the beginning I felt like I had the upper hand in the situation-I was the one who was out and comfortable in my sexuality, right?-after each time we met became more secretive and more dirty, I began to feel secretive, dirty, and most of all shameful. We’d meet surreptitiously in dark and make out in the cold British weather on a park bench before venturing back to his place to have sex. I didn’t tell him that I’d never had sex with someone before instead, saturated with vodka and inflated by nerves, I was swept up in the motions.įor the next year, we’d hook-up on and off, usually at 3 a.m. All I know is that one moment we were talking and the next minute, well. The minutiae of exactly how things developed from us being together in that room to us having slightly unsuccessful sex in a bathroom in a different corridor have since escaped me. He was clearly intoxicated, but it was a party after all and who was I, quite drunk myself, to judge. It was late (or early, depending on your outlook on the world) when I was joined by the boy who was living in the room next to mine, way back on the other side of the building. I can remember, although I'd had some drinks, sitting alone in my friend’s room on a single bed, the mattress overly springy and with a coarse plastic coating, attempting to stream a song over our dorm’s spotty Internet connection.
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The whole thing went down near the end of my freshman year at a party, at which people from the whole dorm floor were drunk and celebrating, carelessly streaming in and out of each other’s rooms, following the various different pop songs until one room took their fancy. I was at college, living in dorms, and the experience-aside from the usual horrifying awkwardness and somewhat spontaneity of the occasion-was completely and utterly unremarkable aside from one thing: the guy I slept with identified as straight. So there you have it – the main differences between a twink and a pup for gay men.I was 19 when I first had full-on sex with another man. After they’ve been out awhile and been exposed to dating, apps, bars, hookups, etc – they then graduate to another classification. Remember, the defining trait for a pup is their newness to the gay world.
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Pups can also have body hair or be smooth. Pups can be of all body types, including slender and muscular or roundish and heavy (not the same as a gay cub). Many pups are newbies to our gay world, just taking their first few steps of self-discovery as part of coming out. In gay-speak, “pups” are fairly young (18-early 20’s) with the defining feature of having almost zero experience in the gay universe. That’s a twink subtype in case you didn’t know.įYI: Technically speaking, twinks can also be pups but they aren’t exactly the same. You see, if a twink is referred to as having pretty features, they are referred to as a glamour twink.
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Many gay men mistakenly think of “Twinks” as pretty but that would be incorrect. There really isn’t a universally agreed upon construct here. Twinks are often thought of as smooth but they can also have body hair. Usually, they are in their 20’s and have boyish features. Example twink TWINK DEFINEDįor the most part, a twink is a guy who has a slender build. While I don’t pretend to be an expert, I will give you the basics of what I found out. Hey, you have to have something to talk about when you’re checking out the meat at the bar, right?Īfter we all went home that night – empty handed I might add – I started to do some research on twinks and pups.
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His bit of insight then led to an hour long conversation about the larger topic of gay twinks and pups – plus a few other labels thrown in for good measure – like wolves and otters.